At War With Yourself?

A few days ago the ugliest, meanest, cruelest pieces of me descended.

I was too weak to stop them.

It hurt.

They hurt me.

I cried in the shower and hyperventilated and heaved....

But the next morning I leaned into tools I use to remember and embody supportive, kind, loving pieces of myself.

We all have these pieces—the ones that criticize and promote fear and ones that are compassionate and forgiving.

Oftentimes we are at war with ourselves thinking we have to lead with this voice or from that piece.


You can hear and acknowledge and allow more than one conflicting voice or thing at a time...

And then you can CHOOSE.

Image by Malcolm Lightbody

Image by Malcolm Lightbody

Choose to lead with love.

Choose to lead with compassion.

Choose to lead with acceptance.

Choose to lead with curiosity.

Choose to lead with openness.

And thrive.

Sending you so much love,

This Is Why You Have to Co-Create The Boundaries of Your Relationship

I feel some shame around admitting it...


My partner Shaun and I went through many years where we locked ourselves into domestic roles and stereotypes that weren't really and truly us.

We took on "husband" and "wife."

6 Steps for Taking Responsibility for Triggers and Healing (your own and/or your partner's)

One of my deepest wounds and greatest triggers of unworthiness happened this week. 

My birthday.

It's become a well-worn path bordered by landmines and avoidance.

Shaun's taken to be my guide on occasion, and this year was especially sweet.

4 Steps to Connect Desire with Arousal (or the vice versa)

Sometimes I catch myself looking at Shaun and wanting to rub myself all over him.

I'm not always clear in that moment which part of me is responding....

Because it could be my heart.

Swelling with the love, compassion, joy, emotion I feel with him and toward him.

This Is Why I Worry About Being Normal (and its effects on my relationship....)

Am I...normal?

This is a question I've asked myself many times around many different things.

If I dig deeper and ask myself what's underneath this question, it's about being belonging.

It's about being worthy.

3 Steps for Finding Peace in Your Relationship During Triggering Times

I've been waking up angry.

Throughout my days I'll find moments of connection and even moments of peace.

And then BOOM!

Another wave of rage will wash over me.