For me, nothing is more important than connection.
Connection is at the center of my education, my experience, my desires, my needs, and my hopes for the world.
I believe above all else, we seek connection—with parts of ourselves we have repressed, with other people, and with the universe.
Right now many of us are feeling disjointed, isolated, and lonely — like we’re disappearing in a sea of posts and laundry and meetings and chores and commutes and errands.
It’s this feeling of separateness that provokes most people and couples to seek outside help.
We don’t feel seen. We don’t feel heard. We don’t feel valued.
We don’t feel connected.
What we want is what Brené Brown, social scientist and TEDx Talk-er, describes as connection. She says:
So how can you reconnect when you feel isolated from yourself, from others, or from something bigger?
Step 1: See.
See yourself, other people, the world, and your connection to them all. See the beauty around you and feel deep in your core that you are a unique part of the landscape of the universe and to be valued. See that when you look in the mirror, as you look at other people, and when you admire nature.
Step 2: Hear.
Hear your thoughts and how you talk to yourself. Are you mean and cruel? Are you kind and gentle? Listen to others without paying attention to your own thoughts. Hear their words and the emotion behind them. Go outside and pay attention to the sounds of nature. Can you hear wind in the trees, birds on the fence, the sounds of traffic or children playing?
Step 3: Feel.
Go for a walk and feel the wind. Notice your body’s response to the temperature of the air. How does the sun feel on your skin? What does stepping into the shade do to your body? Connect to the sensations in your body and how you are intrinsically connected to the earth.
Step 4: Smell and Taste
Treat yourself to a pumpkin latte, some butternut squash soup, or a cup of hot chocolate. Slowly take in the smells and the heat of the cup or bowl. Take your time with the first sip or taste and let it take over your mouth. Give a friend or a co-worker a treat, and notice how the unexpected affects his or her experience. Does s/he feel more connected to you? Do you feel more connected to him or her?
It may seem a little cheesy, but try it.
By engaging your senses, you can feel the sensations in your body and watch how your emotions light up in response to the sights, sounds, and tastes around you. You can reconnect to you!
And sharing these activities with others makes the connection that much sweeter.
Still if the thought of this hurts or doesn’t feel like enough:
Seek outside support.
A personal coach can see, hear, and feel what you are going through. She can tailor exercises and actions to support what you want and need. It’s done with a spirit of acceptance, love, and generosity all with the intention of connection.
If you want to work with me, schedule a free consultation for in-person, walk ’n’ talk, or video sessions.
With love and support,