Today I am face down in the mud.
I can't see anything clearly. I am defeated. I can't tell who I am. I don't know if I have the strength to get back up.
Brené Brown says....
Ah, fuck it. I can't even look it up. She says something about being in the arena, about being face down in the mud.
You can look it up.
This week's message comes from my spouse, Shaun, for when you're face down in the mud.
I honor where you are at.
Face down in the arena is a fucking tough place to be. Possibly the toughest place to be. It's lonely, painful, hopeless. At that point we are goal-less and we don't even want to open our eyes. This is when we are at our best, however. Because we simplify our lives. When we are face down in the arena, the future is non-existent. We simplify things. The simplest thing becomes the most effective thing. That simplest thing most often is to stand up. Just stand up. Something so easy suddenly feels so difficult. But, that simple foundation can potentially allow us to see something else that is simple that perhaps we have taken for granted for so long. Maybe standing up will be so hard today for you, but perhaps just doing that will lead to hearing your child's laugh in a different way. Maybe hearing the laugh will warm you ever so slight. Doesn't have to be big, it just has to be. Simple, but different.
I've had my share of face down moments as well. My demon is often laughing at me with his deep cigar smoking laugh. I'm worthless, I don't belong, I'll never be enough. In those moments, it is usually the simplest thing that just begins to turn the tide against my demon ever so slightly. I see your eyes, I catch a glimpse of my daughter playing, I hear my son's laugh, I hug you even though it feels so forced.
So, I honor where you are at. While you are in pain and depressed at this moment, know that I am watching you from the first row in the audience in awe that you were brave enough to put yourself in the arena in the first place. In my mind, I'm the fan with the big foam hand with the index finder extended in the "#1" position. I will continue to cheer you on in ways I know best.