Good Men


Tell me now (tell me now)
'n' show me how (show me how)
To understand (understand)
What makes a good man?
Tell me now (tell me now)
Hey walk the line (walk the line)
Hey understand (understand)
What makes a good man?

In 2012, when the band The Heavy released their track, What Makes a Good Man?, my spouse became slightly obsessed. 

It’s an amazing song that Drake Baer called, “a neo soul jam equal parts spine-crunching guitar and spirit-cleansing choir.”

But more than that, I could tell Shaun was trying to figure out what the song was trying to tell him. It was asking him “What makes a good man?” 

I don’t think he had an answer. 

Four years later I believe he still doesn’t have one. 

But I do know he wants to be one. Shaun wants to be a good man. 

It’s not a coincidence that in 1997 Paula Cole was singing “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?” I always thought she was talking about how back in the day men were men for having a nice car, paying the bills, doing the heavy labor, and drinking. And now we can’t find them. 

“Men” are lost. 


Feminism paved the way for women to have choices and to make choices about what they want to do and who they want to become.

Want to be a stay-at-home mom? Good. Do it.

Want to be a high-powered executive? Awesome. Go for it.

Want to be home for your kids until they go to school and have a part-time, from-home job? You can do that, too.

But what about men? 

Our culture has shifted to telling people, including men, they should be happy with their relationships, with their family, with their work.

But that transition is fraught with disbelief. “Are you sure?” I hear from the men daring to consider their own happiness. “I’m not sure I believe you,” they say. They don’t trust that their needs and desires and wants are valid, too. 

I am seeing and feeling a gendered identity crisis coming from those who have XY chromosomes. 

So what makes a good man these days? Let me know your thoughts on Facebook or in the comments section on my website.

I can’t be entirely sure myself, but I will say I’m attracted to a man who

  • Drops his limiting belief systems and experiences that hamper his freedom
  • Learns how to express his emotions and how to hold space for the emotions of others
  • Develops a potent sexuality that is primal, soft, deep, sensual, powerful, and multi-dimensional

That’s why I’m very excited to see what Layla Martin’s Men’s Sexual Mastery Training has in store for the men of the world. 

It’s a course that can be done from anywhere in the world. And you get access to the video modules forever – so you can do this course entirely at your own pace. 

Follow your curiosity, and check out all the details. Registration closes next Wednesday, November 9th.

Because the world needs good men.