What do you need tonight? What do you want tonight?
After Shaun says good night to our three kids and joins me downstairs, these are the most likely questions you'll hear from either one of us.
Gone are the days when we knew the TV schedule, and that's what dictated our evening.
"It's Thursday, so I guess we're watching So You Think You Can Dance or The Bachelor."
We'd both be on the couch with computers on our laps continuing to work to prove our worth, barely paying attention to the TV anyway, and completely avoiding our relationship.
That's not to say we don't watch television. Shaun and I do watch TV, and we do have our favorite shows. Our evenings, though, don't revolve around the TV and work—they're for us.
They are for our relationship.
Well, I'd like to get in a run and maybe do an intimacy exercise together? What do you need tonight?
I'll take care of the bills while you run, and I was thinking the first part from the electric sex date night?
These days Shaun and I are focused on getting in some exercise and then building or deepening an emotional and/or sexual connection.
Then we might do an intimacy and connection exercise like the one I describe here. We might do pieces of a date night as described in Layla Martin's free ebook, Epic Lovers.
Lately we've added another element to our evening menu of possibilities: Recording the Epic Couples podcast, which you can find on iTunes, Stitcher, or on the website.
Shaun and I have had many conversations over the years about our relationship, about relationships in general, and about what makes a relationship EPIC. With this podcast, we let you in on those conversations that typically happen behind closed doors.
Since I've started working as a sex and intimacy coach, I've been so passionate and driven with wanting to support couples who are emotionally disconnected and sexually unfulfilled to embolden their relationships.
And I also want to make sure I'm doing everything I can to have an epic partnership at home. It starts by asking:
What do you need tonight?
I encourage you to ask your partner what s/he needs tonight, and see what happens. Maybe s/he doesn't know. Maybe you don't know. And maybe it can be the start of your epic couple's journey....
May you be epic together,