When our kids were really little, I remember asking Shaun’s sister and our brother-in-law how they did it, how they made time to have sex.
They had two kids who were a little older, and their relationship seemed strong.
It’s not sexy, they told us, but you have to schedule sex.
They were right.
It’s not sexy.
In fact, I’ve found the whole “schedule sex” advice is used not just for when you have kids or have a busy life.
It’s advice for everything.
It’s like someone said, “If you schedule it, he will come.”
And that’s probably true.
If you schedule sex, the penis will come.
Does anyone else feel a shrinking or hear a shrieking?
I don’t want to just -have- sex. And neither does a penis.
I want to feel sex.
I want to connect to sex.
I want to be sex.
I want to live sex.
Yes, I want to have sex.
And I also don’t want mechanical, painful, distant, get-this-over-with, chore-type sex.
The type of sex -I- want is connected, desired, playful, fun, wild, intense, or some delicious variation of that.
The type of sex -I- want is a full-bodied YES.
In this week's episode of the Epic Couple's Podcast, entitled Start A Sex Practice, Shaun and I talk about a lot of really awesome things that will make you enjoy sex again, including
- Defining sex
- Scheduling sex versus a sex practice
- How to know if the sex was good
Specifically we share what our sex practice looks and feels like while discussing what questions to ask in a post-sex recap.
Hear Shaun say, “I don’t own any piece of your sexuality. I don’t own a single shred of your sexuality. Just like I don’t any other body part of yours.”
Hear me say, “Scheduling sex puts sex in the chore column, and it feels better once you’re done than actually being in the act of having sex.”
Listen as we share our experiences with kids walking in on us while we are having sex, the power of a gentle intention, and how to shift Blow Job Tuesdays into a sex practice.
Through our conversation I would love for you to explore for yourself a couple of things:
- What happens if you have sex when you’re not ready?
- What would it be like to have a marriage caseworker?
- What kind of a container do you need to have epic sex?
Be inspired from this week's podcast episode to ask for consent from your partner, to make a request of your partner, and to co-create connected sex with your partner!
Listen to it here on iTunes or here on Stitcher.
It's all in service of you experiencing epic sex, an epic connection, and an epic life.
To your epic coupledom!
P.S. If you're curious about starting your own sex practice, take a look at these eight steps for starting one all your own.