"YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!"
"I ALWAYS DO THIS BY MYSELF! YOU'RE NEVER HERE!"
"YOU DON'T LOVE ME! WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?!"
I have yet to meet someone who doesn't have a core wound that occasionally flares up, especially in relationship.
Here are three signs you or someone you care about is experiencing the pain of a core wound.
SIGN 1: EMOTION
An easy indication that someone's core wound is exposed is an upwelling of emotion that doesn't seem to resonate with the current situation. It might be volatile anger or deep sadness. It's as if this emotion is coming from the past to reach out and be expressed right now.
SIGN 2: ABSOLUTES
When someone is speaking from a core wound, it shows up as all-or-nothing thinking. Either you love me or you don't. Either you hate me or you love me too much. Either you're never there for me or you won't leave me alone. There's no space for "maybe" or "sometimes."
SIGN 3: LOVE AND BELONGING
Core wounds generally revolve around love, safety and belonging as well as feeling seen and heard. It's not really about the chores or the amount of sex. It's about something much deeper and something much more painful.
In this week's episode of the Epic Couples Podcast entitled, Healing Core Wounds Inside Your Relationship, Shaun and I each share our core wounds and what it’s like trying to meet one another’s needs.
We also talk about how core wounds come about, why it is you are attracted to your partner, and how to heal within your relationship.
It's deep stuff.
Hear me say, “There’s something from your history, your past, your childhood, that invites that particular fight or argument to be so tender.”
You'll hear Shaun say, “Healing that core wound is an ongoing task. You’re never really at the end of that journey, but it does get easier the more you practice it.”
With practice you can be conscious of your partner’s wounds and your own wounds and experience deep healing.
It's a big step to feeling a deeper connection and greater intimacy in your relationship.
To your love and healing,
P.S. If you listen to this week's podcast, let me know in the comments below what you think. What are your core wounds, and do you know what your partner's is?