I invite you to turn and look at your partner.
Maybe you just need to look up, and there they are across from you.
If you can't see your partner from your vantage point and you're in the same space, carry this email with you and go find them.
If your partner and you are in different locations, I invite you to scroll to a picture of them.
What do you see?
What do you feel BETWEEN the two of you?
Even more important...WHO do you see?
Is it the person you fell in love with?
Do you see clearly and recognize the person your partner has become?
And what might they see when they look back at you?
It is so easy to forget who you are and to forget how to be with one another.
You might blame kids or cleaning or fixing your home or your job....
To start taking self-responsibility and to show up 100% in your relationship, here are five things you can do to reclaim your relationship (other than listen to this week's podcast episode, Reclaim Your Relationship From Parenting Responsibilities):
STEP ONE: Remember The Beginning
Look back at what the two of you did when you first started dating. What did you enjoy doing together? What did each of you do for the other? How did you show your love? What kind of fun or adventure did you have together?
Take stock of how many of these elements are present in your relationship today and start by doing them more or implementing them in one at a time.
STEP TWO: Speak Each Other's Love Language
Chances are you've heard about the Five Love Languages developed by Gary Chapman. You may receive love the best from hearing words of affirmation, receiving gifts, experiencing quality time, loving touch, or acts of service.
Have you learned your partner's language fluently? Have you shared with your partner the ways in which they can love you best? Speak your partner's love language and invite them to speak yours more often to fill up with love and connection from your partner. Find out your love language here.
STEP THREE: Create A Couple Bubble
Imagine the space around the two of you as sacred and protected. Create a bubble of safety around your relationship where inside your needs are met with love and compassion by one another. Experience life as the two of you partnered together in adventure and adversity.
For more, listen to Creating a Couple Bubble on the Epic Couples Podcast.
STEP FOUR: Learn to Hold Space For Each Other
Listening to your partner isn't the same as holding space. Even if listening was enough, we're often listening for a moment to interrupt, talk about ourselves, fix our partner, or even tell them how they're wrong.
Learn how create a space for your partner's deepest truth to emerge so they feel truly seen and heard. Listen in a way that allows your partner to feel safe and to express themselves freely and truly. My Holding Space Training can offer you the space to do this together.
STEP FIVE: Get To Know Their Desires, Fears, and Loves
Step into a space of vulnerability and strength to invite intimacy and connection back into your relationship. By sharing your desires, fears, and what you love about your partner WITH your partner, you reconnect to remember who you are and how to be together. Take fifteen minutes of your time, and press play on this Desires, Fears, and Loves guided audio.
You may not be who you once were together...but I hold an even deeper connected, more alive, turned on and epic version of the two you in my heart that's just waiting for you to say yes to.
Sending you so much love,