A Winter Slide Into Depletion and Exhaustion

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I've been in a state of winter the last few months, which is weird because here in the Bay Area in California our winters are generally pretty mild.

But understanding how a person can go through seasons in their life...

How relationships can go through seasons in their intimacy...

How our sexualities can go through winter, spring, summer, and fall...

This gives us permission to be just as we are.

It gives us a framework for understanding the ebb and flow of life. 

In my wintery state, hanging out in a land not so far away from depression, I wonder if depression isn't resistance and fear with allowing a state of winter.

Winter is still.
It's numb.
It's slow.

It appears to be lifeless, yet under the surface there is life. There is movement. There is growth.

Winter is a state of hibernation.

I alternated between allowing this wintery state and challenging it with a force and a push that takes an extra amount of energy I just don't have in winter.

When the new year came around, I couldn't feel the energy of rebirth and resolutions.

I was foggy, unclear, hazy and slumped. 

And that was okay. 

But then I found myself feeling unsafe, and I had to force and push myself despite my winter in order to feel safe again.

I landed in depletion and exhaustion, and I can't say I was capable of choosing anything different.

But from here on out, I want more...I want different.

I want to honor my winter more fully. I want to flow with my seasons. 

Right now I'm half way through taking two weeks to reset, charge, restore, and just be. 

And if this is what you need, or if you can look back and see it was what you needed, I invite you honor the seasons of your life and to be okay with being in winter.

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose o/~

Sending you my love,