Restoring the 5 Stages of Sexuality

I'm not sure about you, but I'm a pretty serious person.

I'm focused. I'm precise. I'm intense.

That doesn't sound like much fun.

Especially in the bedroom.

Annnnnnnd if I explore these through the five stages of sexuality, these "serious" qualities sound more like:

I am present. I am embodied. I am passionate.

Photo by  Mari Lezhava

Photo by Mari Lezhava

In this week's episode of The Epic Couple's Journey Podcast, Shaun and I explore the five stages of sexuality and how to restore them when sexual expression has been stunted.

As you listen, think about your sexual history and how it impacts your intimacy and connection together.

I want to invite you to consider how you both can play with the stages of sexuality in your relationship for healing, creativity and fun.

Photo by  Daniel Lincoln

Here are the five stages and how to walk yourself through them on your own or with your partner:

STAGE ONE: Innocence

For this stage, focus on your innocent sexuality as a tiny baby and toddler. 

Explore your entire body and keep returning to the experience of childhood innocence.


Explore from a place of play! Take your time to playfully explore your whole body. 

You’re between the ages of 5-12, the ages of play and curiosity. You can, for instance, dance in front of the mirror or jump on the bed or splash in the shower. Do whatever feels playful to you inside your body.


As a tween or teenager explore all parts of your body, how they work, what they respond to, what they look like, how they're changing, and what invites pleasure.

You can use a mirror and your fingers to explore. Learn about your body from a place of awe and excitement.

STAGE FOUR: Pleasure

Be in the experience of being a young adult and explore everything that feels amazing. You can play with different textures, oils, or lubricants and anything that enhances your sensual experience.

Revel in pleasure. Celebrate pleasure! And be in the experience of an abundance of pleasure!

STAGE FIVE: Sacredness

Invite pleasure to be divine and sacred by setting the space with great intention. Maybe you use the fluffiest towels, the nicest sheets, the most expensive of oils.

Make sure to reach every part of your body in this sacred process and go slow with great awareness and gratitude for what you're experiencing.

Sending you so much love as you explore, restore and play,